Saturday, 10 December 2016

A Not to Be Missed Guest Post by the One & Only Willie Wine

Happy Christmas!

Firstly l have to say Thankyou..Grazie..Tack..Gracias..Obrigado..Merci..Danke..To Barbara, for asking me to do a guest post on her lovely Blog!  When Barbara asked me a while ago, l thought ‘goodness’.I've done one other, three years ago in fact!  l’m very much a verbal person, not a writing one, nor a reading one, problem is patience...or lack of it! :(. So, l tend to write as l speak! My grammar's none to good either...! Still...we'll see how l get on!  I'm unable to sit down with a 'good' book! Unless! It's got loads of  pictures..! And, very little writing! :). Like the Ladybird books or the Mr Men books...! :).  Time upon a once.....

And..In growing up, my Father used to say to me.."Trouble with you boy is..you've never grown up". I used to get upset in hearing this,but as l grew older, l took it more as  complement...

So! What to write about...I have a trilogy in my life....’Love Food, Love Cats, Love Pink’. And of course ‘MY’ music....Goes with out saying. Two things..run/rule my life..my music, my emotions! Back in the 60's when everyone was going 'silly' over the Beatles,l took to Motown...And, never looked back!  Soul Music is my Bible! So l was gonna begin by telling you how l started out in life, l was  found, in a box, left on a doorstep...But, as the door opened 'outwards'... l was actually found....'In the road'.....!!! :). HeHe! No! No! But in the end...I thought l might just ramble on about Christmas.....After all, it started way back in October. And, will soon be upon us......


”Silent Night..Holy Night....All is calm..all is bright”.

“No! Not now Willie.....Later”...!!! :).


My memory takes me back to the age of five...We lived in a two  up, two down house..with an outside toilet..HeHe! And yes, it was at the bottom of the garden! God! All that 'news paper' work! :). And at that time there were quite a few Italians living here, in our town, and, we were friends with one Italian family in particular.  In fact, the lady/Mum of that family is still with us today, aged 98, and, l still pop round to see her and have coffee. Lovely lady! All we seem to talk about is The Mafia...... Italian politics.... and Berlusconi.....so all the same thing really!  Capiche!!! :).   

So, then it was traditional that we all went to midnight Mass, on Christmas Eve, as good Catholics. Then after Mass we would go home, and Dad would dress up as Father Christmas, and, give out the prezzies....I used to think back then, how silly Father Christmas was..With ALL the windows and doors...Why does he come down the chimney??? I used to get a Christmas stocking to...Every year...Colouring book,a toy, and an orange! As l got older, l used to think, ‘when am l gonna get a stocking, with a leg in it’. :). But, that’s another story! :). 


So, then l moved on, school..(hated it)..then college...at sixteen l stepped  into the BIG wide world....for the next 10 yrs l was in the entertainment business so Christmas was then spent somewhere on stage...’Do’in ma thang’....'Gett'in on down'  So, the festive season, was quite lengthy.  I worked for the Americans back then, and they sure knew how to party! And pay well...Oh! Yes! :). 

"The road to success is always under construction". 

In 1973...I got married...Pause! Paws! Pause! HeHe!  =(^..^)=  "And, the lord said unto Moses...Come Forth, Come Forth...and he came  Fifth, and lost his beer money". :0).  And! Even back then, at school, we had Sex Education...Oh! Yes! Well! When l say Sex Education...We were just told to remember two things....."Some do..some don't" and "Hello Sailor"....???   


In 1976 my daughter was born...Christmas was great. I just went back to my childhood, and, played with her presents. Well! All except the dolls!  “Com’on Willie..You never stopped playing with Girls World”. “Well, just that one then”. :).  And, just like any family, it’s great watching kids grow up, and enjoying themselves, especially at Christmas.  Our home was always full of kids..l love kids..l used to be one! :).  From 1980, it was just the two of us, we spent Christmas with various families and friends, and, of course new year! Especially New Years Eve...ALL that fancy dress, we used to do very well in prizes...Me! dressed as a fairy...Wings and a Wand and all...I was the bestest fairy...EVER! :).  HeHe! I love dressing up...They can't touch you for it...!!!  

"Every street's a catwalk"...

"Willie..do you remember when those bikers chased you across the Market Place..when you were dressed as a fairy". "Yes! Yes! Let's forget about that".  But those New Years, used to come and go..very quickly!  Eat! Drink! And be Mary..!!!

Family was and is very important....Though, l do remember an argument about my English Grandma...half the family wanted her buried, and half the family wanted her cremated...Goodness! In the end.....We let her live!  She was a 'BIG' crossword puzzler...so when she did die, we buried her... 6 Down, 2 Across...!!! HeHe! Bless!  So, remember....Always go to other peoples funerals..otherwise, they won't go to yours...!!! :0).  


So my daughter is settled now, no children, but they have two Staffy's, and two cats. I really look forward to going up there, to the Midlands..! l go on the coach...Wells Fargo...! New places to pose in, and new people to be rude to! Great Fun! :). Love my visits to Cheshire Oaks, and Ikea in Nottingham, l really look forward to....I~LOVE~TO~SHOP. And, the only person l enjoy shopping with is my daughter!  (If she can keep up).....Otherwise, l always shop alone! Strange! How shops 'always' remember me on my second visit!  Oh! and, l get to sleep with Zeeva...She is lovely...In the wee hours  of the morn’in I usually wake up and there she is under the duvet, licking my ankles...(no sense of direction)...! :).  Oh! Sorry! Forgot to say...Zeeva is one of my daughters Staffy’s. Did'nt want you to think l was some 'silly' Sicilian...! :). And, pussy~cat Az...Loves to settle on my chest, inches from my face...And dribble! HeHe!   I~Love~Pussy~Cats!   =(^..^)=

"Dogs have owners..Cats have staff". 

As you can tell, it’s ALL rather nice really, with cats and dogs, all over the bed....and a pussy on yer chest....!!!   Rather like the old days!  “Willie”....."Sorry". :0). 


Finally.......Did l hear someone say..’Thank God for that’.... I hope you ALL have a great time this Christmas with family and friends... And, enjoy the high~lite of Christmas...The Christmas Cracker Jokes...You know the ones....

“Who hides in a bakery at Christmas”?
“A mince spy”.

"What is Santa’s favourite Pizza”?
“Deep~pan crisp and even”.

“What do Elves learn at school”?
“The Elf~abet”.

"What's the most popular Christmas wine"?
"I don't like Brussels sprouts".

"What do vampires sing on New Years Eve"?
"Auld Fang Syne". 

(To think l used to get paid for writing such rubbish).  :). 

So...Finally....And, as l'm very much a 'sayings' person....
"May you all have love to share...wealth to spare...and, friends that care".

Remember....
“It’s nice to be important...But it’s important to be nice”.
                        
And....
"Add  life to your days, not days to your life".         

Did you know....
"It takes 43 muscles to frown...and only 17 to smile". So don't just sit  there......SMILE! :).                     
 So....
"We don't stop laughing because we grow old....We grow old because we stop laughing". 


Tanti Cari e affettuosi di Buon Natale,

e Felice Ann Nuovo.......

Willie...x    =(^..^)= 
http://williewine.blogspot.co.uk/




Oh!  There is 'one' book I've read this year....three times in fact....
Not to be missed! Loved it! :). 


(Give it a Google).  =(^..^)=



Pee~Po Christmas.....!  :). 

Many of you ‘know’ Willie from the comments he leaves on this and many other blogs.  If you’ve not had the pleasure of meeting him or would like to know more, please click here 

55 comments:

  1. Dear Willie,

    Thanks for all the chuckles in 2016 and especially for this post. I’m still laughing about your English Grandma!

    These are especially for you.

    Mum, can I please have a cat for Christmas:
    No. You'll have turkey the same us the rest of us.

    Knock Knock who’s there? Holly. Holly who? Holly-days are here again!

    Happy Christmas xxx

    ReplyDelete
  2. Barbara, what an inspired idea to ask Willie to write for your blog and Willie thank you for doing so! That is one of the best and funniest reads I have had in ages and the cartoons are superbly funny. Thank you both for the laughter. John

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So glad you enjoyed the post John, I thought you would. Barbara

      Delete
  3. HeHe! Ah! Knock! Knock! Jokes...!
    I can't be touched for them...!

    Knock Knock Who's there? Avery Avery who? Avery merry Christmas!

    Knock Knock Who's there? Donut Donut who? Donut open til Christmas!

    Knock Knock! Who's there? Rabbit. Rabbit who? Rabbit up carefully, it's a present!

    Knock Knock Who's there? Centipede. Centipede who? Centipede on the Christmas tree.

    Knock Knock Who's there? Snow Snow who? Snow business like show business!

    AND...Thankyou! I'm sure we'll have more chuckles in 2017..! :).

    ReplyDelete
  4. Brilliant, thanks Willie. I'm looking forward to more laughter next year.

    ReplyDelete
  5. So funny! Barbara, you do have the most amazing/amusing friends! Love the cartoons. Willie is brilliant- a born comedian. Thank you for such a fun post!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Colleen, I feel very lucky to have made so many wonderful friends through blogging. You and Willie are two of them & you are right about him being a born comedian.

      Delete
  6. Barbara, what a delightful post! I love all the images and the cartoons made me laugh heartily! Thank you so much for sharing, and for the smiles. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Linda, Willie always makes me laugh, and I was delighted when he agreed to do a guest post. I’m so pleased you enjoyed the fun.

      Delete
  7. Oooh, that made me chuckle. Love the jokes! I do think we need to see a pic of Willie in his fairy outfit, though!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 'Fairy~Enough'...HeHe! :).
      There are no photos l'm afraid..mind you if
      the price was right...l'd make the effort!

      And, l still have the tutu..well, it's more like
      a three~three...And the wand l made out of one
      my daughters rods, out of her Wendy House....
      wrapped in tin foil, bunged up one end, filled
      it with glitter, stuck a silver star at the top!
      So when l waved it...it left a trail of glitter! :).
      Wings made out of two coat~hangers, white T~shirt,
      white tights...job done! :).
      HeHe! I won first prize, a gallon of whisky...which
      l auctioned for charity, think someone paid £80 for
      it....! :).

      Delete
  8. teeeheee......THOSE ARE HILARIOUS!!!!!!! And that "global warming" one makes sense for us here in traditionally cold MINNESOTA. Just up until about a week ago, we were experiencing a weird warm pattern with no snow. But we are back to our usual cold days but only with a bit of snow, a dusting, really! So Santa just might come to Minneapolis wearing, well, a bit more than a G-string, but not much! HEY, BARBARA!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Anita, I must say I had a good giggle over Willie’s post, and I’m still smiling. The weather in Australia has been really odd as well, cold when it should be warm and floods where they have never had floods before. Our daughter-in-law tells us they have never seen anything like it. Maybe Santa will wear his G-string under his more traditional red suit! :-)

      Delete
  9. Hey Willie! Very funny. And no, men never grow up. We get older, but we never outgrow the boy.

    ReplyDelete
  10. HaHa! Yes! Brilliant! :).
    Another thing l always quote....
    "People laugh at me because l'm different..
    I laugh at them, because their all the same".

    ReplyDelete
  11. What fun! I enjoyed many laughs reading the wise words of Willie Wine. Thanks so much for sharing this humorous post and a very Merry Christmas to both Willie and Barbara!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Marcia, the wise words of Willie Wine would have made a great title for the post – wish I had thought of it! Happy Christmas, Barbara x

      Delete
  12. Willie shared a lot of fun memories with us here today. Loved the cartoons and Christmas images too. Nice to stroll down memory lane with someone else and learn about a different place and time. :) Wishing you and Willie a very Merry Christmas!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Replies
    1. I couldn't agree more! Thanks for visiting, Barbara.

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  14. Well done Willie for giving us a laugh on this grey day. Barbara and Terry are visiting us today so if your ears are burning you will know why!πŸ˜œπŸ˜„πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜€

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HeHe! Yes! I knew Barbara and Terry were visiting...!
      It was on the news...All roads in Somerset/Wiltshire,
      were on 'red alert'....! :).
      Barbara has just informed me that 568 people have read,
      this post so far...Brilliant! Thankyou one and all...! :).

      Delete
    2. That would explain the police escort then Willie!

      Delete
  15. Thanks so much for the great Christmas humor. Laughter is always appreciated, and especially at this busy, and sometimes, stressful time of year. As to growing up. . .it's better not to if that means you have to give up being happy, inquisitive and sometimes just silly because. . . (that's my opinion) Thanks for this guest, Barbara. A real holiday treat. Have a wonderful Christmas and I look forward to sharing 2017 with you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The world would be a much happier place if everyone adopted your attitude Lee. I’m with you, lets all have more fun! I'm wishing you a very Happy Christmas and a healthy and prosperous New Year. Barbara

      Delete
  16. Hilarious guest post and hope you have a Happy Holiday and a Wonderful New Year!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much Eve. Happy Christmas to you and yours, I look forward to visiting your blog in 2017. Barbara

      Delete
  17. Goodness Me! :).
    I've had quite a few e~mails...Thankyou....
    Mostly asking me two questions...
    1) What is my most favourite song of all....?
    That would be...Kool and Gang...Cherish..1985.
    Followed closely by Whitney Houston...One Moment
    in Time..1988. (Love Whitney).

    2) What do l think about myself...How would l sum
    up Willie Wine...?
    HeHe! Bless! Here we go then......
    "I'm not a control freak, l just happen to be a highly
    driven, focused, motivated, extraordinary and inspiring
    leader, and yes, you may take time out to listen to my
    advise and no, you may not do things your way..". :).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Willie, I’m with you re Whitney but would have to choose ‘I will always love you’ as my favourite of her songs. Just love it!
      I would always listen to your advice, but I don’t promise to take it – I’m a woman who likes her own way! :-)

      Delete
    2. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said....
      "A woman is like a tea bag..you can't
      tell how strong she is, until you put
      her in hot water". :).

      Delete
    3. Eleanor never said a truer word! xx

      Delete
  18. How wonderful. Circumstances have me feeling less than festive so I really appreciated this fun post. thanks for putting a smile on my face Willie.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's what it's ALL about Tracy...
      Putting a smile on peoples faces..! :).

      HeHe! I looked at the word..Circumstances
      ...twice...First time, l thought...'Hello!
      l'm not Jewish'..! :0).

      Delete
  19. OMG. This was such a great post. Thanks, Willie:)

    Waving to Barbara.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Thankyou Sandra...
    I think Barbara loves a good wave, either
    at the hairdressers or on the beach.....!
    Look out here comes another one....!!! :).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are not wrong Willie!
      Thank you Sandra – can you see me waving? :-)

      Delete
  21. Barbara, what a amuzing post! I adore the images too! Thank you so much for sharing :) Happy holidays :)

    ReplyDelete
  22. This was an amazing post with beautiful images, I loved reading it. And you have awesome memories!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thankyou for that!
      And, yes, l tend to live in the past,
      quite a lot..love my memories of my family
      and friends...!
      As we used to say..."It's a great life, if
      you don't weaken".

      Delete
  23. That first cartoon was especially funny.


    Have a great one, Barbara.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Goodness Willie, you're a riot! I couldn't help laughing (no matter how many muscles there), especially the part on Grandma. Keep doing your thing and have the merriest Christmas!

    Merry Christmas to you and Terry, too, Barbara! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thankyou Claudine...Thankyou...! :).
      It's been fun, and Barbara tells me
      there have been well over 1000 views
      on this post, and l've received quite
      a few e~mails...Great fun!
      And may you and yours have loveliest
      Christmas to...! :).

      Delete
    2. Happy Christmas Claudine, I will be over to see you soon. xx

      Delete
  25. Absolutely loved this post. Thanks for all the laughs. I had a cat who used to sit on my chest. No he did not dribble but he would purr as loud as he could to wake me upπŸ˜‚

    ReplyDelete
  26. Hi Shashi, I've not lived with a cat since I was a little girl, but I remember how they always seem to get their own way. Bless them, I do love them but Terry has a real problem with them. The funny thing is when visiting friends with cats the cats would always rather sit on his lap than anywhere else in the house. He hates it! It makes me smile because I’m sure the cats know exactly how he feels, which is why they do it. :-)
    So glad you enjoyed Willie’s post, it was lovely to have a visit from him on my blog. Barbara x

    ReplyDelete
  27. (sorry if this is a duplicate message. I posted one and my battery died so I had to type another)

    Hello Barbara,

    I can't believe I missed this post. I love it. I think Willie's jokes are getting better, and so glad he used his signature pink writing. He even included a book! I look forward to more posts in the future. ❤

    Hello Willie,

    Thank you for linking me to this. It's lovely to learn more about you (although I always knew you were a bit of a fairy). This really made me laugh out loud. Yes... your jokes are definitely improving... a bit. ☺

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh! Goodness me! I feel honoured! :).
      My jokes..getting better...l think if
      we could translate them into Welsh, they'd
      probably sound funnier! :).
      HeHe! That's for the comment...!!!

      What do you mean..."A 'bit' of a fairy!...
      A bit...a bit...It's the full wings and wand,
      or nothing...!!! :0).

      Delete
    2. I know Yvonne – a whole book! Willie was very insistent about the colour – no pink writing – no blog post. Do you really think the jokes are getting better??? I’m not sure, although I was crying with laughter when I read it, so I guess you are right. He! He!
      The comment only turned up once, so all good.

      Delete
    3. Full wings and wand Willie? That's good because we wouldn’t want it any other way! :-)

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    4. Haha, Barbara! We could write a song about that... or even a book that Willie would read. It could be called "Willie with a Wand and Wings". πŸ˜†

      Delete
    5. I love that Yvonne, let’s do it!!! :-)

      Delete
    6. zzzzzzzzzZ! What! Who! Where! Why! Oh!
      Where was l...Oh! Yes! zzzzzzzzzz!

      More like 'a Wing and a Prayer'.....

      Delete

I really appreciate your comment. Thank you!
Barbara xx

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